Am I being crazy and unreasonable?

(Long post) Please honest but kind…I’ve been with my boyfriend for 4 years, and we’ve been long-distance for 8 months. He’s normally a good boyfriend and flew me out to visit him recently. He says he’s trying hard to make me happy, but I keep bringing up things that worry me over and over again.

While I was visiting, a woman named Jessica called my boyfriend. He said she was someone he met for networking at the business hotel where his company has office space, and that she was a realtor and something else he couldn’t remember.

Later, I found Jessica’s Instagram, and her profile picture showed the inside of my boyfriend’s car. At first, he said he didn’t know how that happened, but said he’d check with his boss James and his friend Maurice.

James admitted he’d borrowed the car, took Jessica to lunch, and that’s when the photo was taken. He apologized to me directly for the confusion and explained he’d borrowed the keys for something else but ended up driving without my boyfriend knowing. James also said Jessica approached him for networking, and that she knows his wife—they even follow each other on Instagram, which I confirmed is true.

Another issue was my boyfriend throwing out boric acid I’d left at his place, even though I told him not to. He said he didn’t remember me telling him in the moment. He also threw away my hair ties that I had left at his apartment. I only think he’s trying to get rid of my presence with this one.

Then I found three used pads in his trash when I went to throw the bin out. He said he doesn’t know where they came from and guessed maybe from female friends of his friend Maurice, who sometimes visit With him and use the bathroom. But not one but 3 is just not normal. I’m just tired because every time there is something his friend or always has something to do with it.

My boyfriend says I’ve been suspicious like this since the start of our relationship and that it makes him feel unappreciated and frustrated because he feels he’s doing so much for me for me to not feel this way. Says he doesn’t know what else to do to make me feel secure because he verbally says he only wants me. To get married and always updates the apartment when I’m coming to visit to make me feel comfortable. Which is all true but can’t he do all of that and still cheat?

I’m wondering if I’m a bad girlfriend for not letting this go, but I’m so anxious I’ve been losing weight because I can’t eat properly. I’m not saying he doesn’t do much for me but why does this happen…?