What should I do about my marriage?

We are both 34, been together 10 years married 7. We have been struggling for awhile. Big issues are sex, communication, mental health. My husband has some pretty wild mood swings especially when he doesnt get his way. Weve fought about sex a lot. Mostly he is in to kinky sex with a focus on watching other men have sex with me (termed hotwifing). I have tried it a couple times mostly to appease him. I tried to have an open mind about it but decided its not for me. So i set that boundary that i don't want to do that. He was so upset that he says he wanted to live a certain lifestyle and never pictured not being able to. He has threatened to leave because of this multiple times (even packed his stuff). We often get to the point of not having sex because he doesnt want "vanilla sex" at all. Then will blow up about the fact that we're not having sex. Most recently we were on vacation for 6 days with family and our kids. Sex didn't happen. He lost his mind on the last day and got in a rage. He actually drove home and left me and our son stranded without a vehicle several states away. Luckily my parents were staying in the hotel next to us and got me plane tickets to get home. He called me that night saying all kinds of nasty things. Said he didn't have a choice about leaving and that he was done with our marriage and that he doesn't want me staying at our house. Then the next day, after he isn't as enraged tells me i can stay at the house so he can see our son. A couple days later he thinks we should try to stay together and work on things. I was pretty set on ending things as I'm tired of the rollercoaster of emotions from him and not sure i can move past recent events. But i don't want to negatively effect my son. My stepdaughter is 12 and was also on the trip and is super angry with him still and wants nothing to do with him. He talked all kinds of trash to me while she was in the car with him driving home. Which i also thought was highly inappropriate. He has apologized but i don't think understands the severity of his actions. I doubt my family will forgive him for abandoning us on vacation and not sure i can either. Any advice?