Feeling sorry for ex...

Hello! It's a bit long so please be patient with me... Well, I met this guy in 2007 through a common friend and we sort of became friends immediately as we had so much in common.. Before we knew we started liking each other more than just friends and I told him that I love him... And he said he does too.. We started going out... When we decided to take the next step, We decided to tell our parents and get to know our families more... My momdad liked him but his parents, they didn't... Well, the reason they said is, that I'm not well cultured enough for him... I was so offended, hurt... Not for what they said, but this guy, you won't believe what he said! He said his parents are more experienced than he is, so "obviously" they look at other aspects than just looks and smile... Really? I did my bachelors degree in information technology, I have a decent job, a well educated and loving family, but we are middle class, and his family was a bit well off than ours... His mom accused me that I'm a gold digger.. I dunno what they said but he started acting all weird within a couple of months... He used to be all sweet and nice one day, and the next day he was like, this isn't gonna work out, let's not do this... It's like he was sandwiched between his feelings for me, and his parents... I loved him so much that the thought of leaving him was excruciating to me... Still I had faith that he would accept me for what I am just like my family did... This went on and off till 2010.. Finally one day, he met me at my work place and told me that he wants to breakup and that he met this really great girl a few months ago and  his parents like her a lot too... I confronted him.. How can you see another girl while you're still with me? He was like.. I was always on the crossroads about you... I like you but I'm not sure about you anymore... And he said he doesn't see his girlfriend in me anymore... And he just left... He was my first love, and I tried my best to get him back.. He blocked me on Facebook, his email.. So I thought he really does want to end this.. I was a wreck.. No one could console me, nothing I tried made me forget him and move on.. So unable to stay in the same city, I decided to resign to my job and move somewhere faraway and start over... It partially worked.. 5 hard months and I got a really good offer in another state.. I wanted to be away from my parents, my friends everyone so I took the step... My parents weren't happy about it, as I was their only child and I lived just 10 miles away... But still I needed this... I took the job, and I just became a workaholic, working working... I kind of developed an aversion towards guys at one point too... My parents used to visit me but I never went back to my parents house even for Christmas because I thought I might run to him... I didn't wanna make myself a fool.. I still had feelings for him even after 2 years of this breakup.. Then my mom told me that it's time for me to move on and just have faith that the right guy is waiting for me... I didn't have faith anymore.. One more year passed.. And then, I met this guy who newly got recruited in our team... He was from a different country and different culture, tradition too, but still he had this very like able thing about him, that for the first time in ages, I actually started being friendly with a guy... I was skeptical when he asked me out but eventually even I liked him so I said yes. We started going out, and I think that's what brought my happy self back to me again... I was genuinely happy and felt truly "Loved" by someone for the first time in years... I met his parents.. They liked me! And my parents were a bit off as he is from another country & tradition, but they eventually liked him too... He proposed to me in 2014 and I was over the moon! We had an awesome wedding amidst friends and family and I didn't have to look back.. My man was perfect! Then I knew why it never worked with my ex... And wen i realized it, I was truly happy about the breakup! Else I'd never have met my husband! Well everything was going on well when out of the blue, my ex mails me, saying that he is going through real tough time with his family.. seems that he got into a relation with a girl and she kind of used him and lodged a false domestic abuse case on him and he is going through tough circumstances.. He said he needs me for emotional and moral support because I alone know him.. Really? You agree with your parents that I'm not well cultured, and yet you expect me to give you a shoulder to cry on,? After offending me in these many way? I can't help but feel sorry for my ex but... I feel like he needs someone to talk to, and I want to.. But part of me wants him to be away like always... I'm torn... What should I do? Please don't judge me.. That's why I'm writing this anonymously.. Should I be a friend to him again? Or should I be ruthless? Just pretend I never knew him??? I'm torn!!!
Update: thank you all! I felt the same too... I just deleted his email and blocked him... It's just that, for a while my emotions got over me as I spent years thinking of him... My husband & my marriage are worth everything to me... Thank you all for the responses... Love you!!! ❤️
593 views • 0 upvotes • 17 comments

COMMENT (17)

An

Posted at
He blocked you when you needed him the most , forget him. 

St

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Pretend you never knew him. No question.

Ka

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Do not reply to him. If anything tell him to go the hell away! Tell him you're married and you don't feel comfortable talking to him idk make up an excuse just don't do it. He is trying to use you because he got screwed over by that girl and has nobody else to turn to. You know how people say karma is a bitch? Well it is and he got his so don't make his day better by emailing him back. He deserves this and you deserve to live happily ever after with your husband. Good luck!

He

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I totally will always have a place in my heart for my ex.. We dated for 5 years, we broke up 7 years ago, I met my husband 6 years ago and he's an amazing man. I love him more than I could explain.. But it doesn't change that there will always be a place in my heart for my ex, I've tried to change that, I've tried to ignore it, but it's something I can't change. That being said.. If he contacted me the same way, I would not reply. Especially without my husbands consent. I also k own how much I loved him, and even though I am more than fortunate that things happened the way they did, even though I would choose my husband over him.. Emotions are a really strong thing and you never know how they could take over you. You wouldn't want to say or do something that you will forever regret. You have to know that when you had your turn with him, you gave him your 100% but now your turn is over. It's really not fair that he's come to you, and I know how tempting it is, but I really wouldn't take the bait.

Ka

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I've been in a similar situation and found now looking back on it a few years later that I should have never allowed my ex back into my life . You can still express how sorry you are he's facing a tough time and that you hope everything pans out because you know he's deep down a good person but that he hurt you and you aren't willing to put yourself back into a friendship or relationship of any kind with him and suggest he reaches out to someone else . I had to realize I could put my well being at risk because I have empathy for an ex or an old friend you only further hurt yourself

Ca

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I wouldn't even answer him. He is the one that sounds like the "gold digger" to me. He only wants you when he doesn't have anyone else. Plus, would you like it if you man was talking to his ex? End of discussion. 

🙈

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He is undeserving of your time or sympathy. Don't even give him a second thought.

Am

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If someone shut me out like that and tried coming back to me years later after all that I would seriously tell him to go fuck himself 🤔🤔

Le

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Reading your post i thought it was me at first. Lol. The "pick". I wanting to cry cuz you never got what you wanted with him. As i kept reading you made me happy!!! :) :) you give me hope for me too. I was in the same situation. I am still heart broken after the guy left me. He wants to be friends. But deep down I know we cant be friends. He wished me Happy New Year but 'til this day I did not reply. Cuz I am hurt and I don't want to be his friend. I would say NOT to respond. Think of the pain he brought to you and being BLOCKED most of all. But if you do want to respond...ask your husband for his okay. Be happy and express your love for you husband. Because you never got it from your ex. Thank you for sharing. You got your rainbow after the storm and keep it. :)

Ra

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Don't feel sorry for him, he brought it on himself. Go about your new, happyLife and forget about him