Worst Sex Ever
So as you can imagine, this started out as a random Tinder hook up. I had been sending sexy messages to this guy, let's call him Neel, and after we had both been partying we decided to meet up. I went to Neel's apartment looking for sex, so I didn't expect to be romanticized or anything but I did not expect this: 
I get to Neel's and message him to get me from the lobby, because I don't have a key to access the elevator. He sends me back his room number and proceeds to tell me to wait for someone else to get on the elevator and I can just use their key fab. 🚩red flag #1, I should have walked out then and there.
So I didn't wait long, the lobby was busy, and I got up to the 8th floor and walked to his room. He answered the door and introduced me to his roommates. After a short conversation, he leans backwards and goes "Oooo, you got a booty on ya. Let's go." And grabs my hand and we go to his room.
Clothes are thrown off, I give him head and he does not reciprocate 🚩. Which normally I wouldn't be too disappointed about, but he wasn't packing much heat so I was like *well shit*.
So a short, unsatisfactory 10 minutes later... He came. Then the night only got worse. Neel gets up to throw the condom away and asks me if I want to fuck his roommate (?!??!?). I decline, refraining from punching him square in the small thing he calls his penis. Then, Neel lays back in bed, grabs his covers, pulls them up to his chin and says, "mmmm I'm so tired."
Alright, douche. I get the hint, and I wasn't planning on staying the night anyways, but you don't have to be rude about it.
So I say, "Ha! Okay." And start putting on my clothes. Trying to make small talk while half naked, I say "this walk home is gonna suck" (15 min walk in 20 degree weather at 2am). And he responds with: "Well at least it's not that cold out"....
No offer for walking me half way or getting me and Uber or anything....just "well at least it's not that cold out".....
"Haha! Okay well could you at least help me find my bra?" I ask.
"You don't need it."
"Uhm yeah I do, it's Victoria's Secret and it cost me like 60 bucks." (Mother fucker thinks I'm gonna leave a VC bra at his place?!)
"I could give you 60 bucks right now," he responds. "I live in the Hub (fancy apartment complex), do you think money is a problem for me?"
Yeah. So I just started laughing, thankfully found my bra, and walked the fuck out of there. I grab my coat from the living room, and his roommates go "Leaving so soon?" and I laugh again. And then they start to laugh, knowing the sex was that bad. And they're like, "why don't you stay?"
"Because you're roommate's a dick." And I walk out.
So much regret that I didn't either walk out from the start or punch him in the face when I had the chance.
At least this all made for a good story, though I really wish I was making this up. For the finally, have added a snapchat rendition of Neel that I had sent to my best friend and sister after telling them the story. Enjoy.
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