Need advice

So a few days ago I posted about all the crap that I've gone through with my SO. The most recent being him watching videos of girls stripping or playing with their tits and so on. Well that's put a damper on the whole me feeling like I'm attractive enough for him bit but here's the kicker and it will probably sound stupid. I'm extremely horny! I really want to have sex right now like full on mind blowing sex but I know if I try with him I won't be able to keep the bad thoughts out of my head. For example is he thinking about the videos while he's doing this? Are the videos the only reason why he's turned on and not me? And so on. It's stupid I know but I'm going to go crazy if I don't do anything. I'm still pissed and hurt and he full on knows I don't approve of such behavior since we've been down this road before only it was a bit worse. I don't know what to do. I'm stubborn as hell but I'm caught in limbo right now lol. I'm half tempted to have my way with him and then give him a killer case of blue balls at the end because I can be evil like that 😈Thoughts?