It's eating me up inside

My bond with my daughter is horrible and I feel like it's my fault. I have these thoughts that make me feel so guilty like already thinking I'm going to love this baby more than her. I've lived with my grandparents most of my daughter's life and she is extremely attached to them. My husband and I are just a couple months away from getting our own house but what if it doesn't change? She doesn't kiss me hug me want to be around me. She makes hurtful comments like I don't want to live with you when we move I want to stay with grandma. I play with her everyday and I read her stories and put her to bed. I take her places and try to be hands on but I just feel so disconnected. It's horrible to admit this but I want to give up on her because it hurts so much to put in so much effort and feel like she doesn't care about me. It has never been this bad. I don't ever want to go through this with my second daughter. I have always worked and I keep thinking maybe I work a lot or maybe it was because I had her so young and I let my grandma be really involved. It's my fault and I feel like a bad mom. She doesn't even feel like my child and she is worse with my husband. We are both heart broken and hurt. Is it the pregnancy? I just want to have my sweet daughter back, I don't know who she is! She is four btw and she has always been so sweet but the past 6 months she has really changed. I want her to want me if that makes sense. She keeps pushing me away...

I want to also add my grandma who is a wonderful lady with good intentions tries to act like her mom. She makes the rules for my daughter even when I say the opposite. I could be standing in the kitchen and my grandma just takes over the care of my daughter. I say hello her mom is standing right here. There are so many things she tries to control. She has taken over my job and it's killing me and I've been trying to tell her this.