Looking at SO's phone?

Question

Do you think it's unreasonable to go through your significant others phone? Every time I look at my bf's phone I find something semi-incriminating and he gets mad! I tell him if he had nothing to hide he shouldn't be mad! Is this crazy?

Answer

I really dislike when someone says "if you trust him you wouldn't snoop". You can trust someone but be insecure and curious based on intuition or past bad experiences. I told this to my current boyfriend and he thought it was weird that I asked to go through his phone but he had nothing to hide and I found nothing. It's about being comfortable to voice how you feel so you don't have to snoop.

Answer

My mother says never go looking for something you don't want to see.

Answer

It's not unreasonable at all. My SO can go through my phone whenever and I can go through his. It's called mutual trust, not blind trust.

Answer

I have never felt a need to go through his phone because I trust him. I don't know that I could be with someone I didn't trust, and felt the need to go through their phone. Sure, I'll use his phone on occasion to play games, make calls, text, etc. but I have never actively searched through his phone.

Answer

My ex always kept his phone locked. One time he had a problem with his phone and since he wanted me to see if I could fix it, he gave me the password. I didn't go through the phone, only did what he asked me to do but I fell asleep while waiting for the phone to back up. Later the next day I tried going in to make sure the backup actually completed and he had already changed the password. So I asked him why he changed it and all he could do was stutter and stammer about it being a passcode on his phone...something stupid. I was like "I'm not trying to go through your phone but you changed your code right after you gave it to me. It's obvious you don't want me to have access to your phone but I'm your wife. What are you hiding"?  Then he says "well I don't know your code". I said yes you do because it's never changed and I told him the code again right then and there. Still he didn't give me the code to his phone.

Ultimately that's not why I divorced him but it certainly didn't help to know that I couldn't trust him. Knowing that if he can't trust his own wife and is hiding his phone means I shouldn't trust him either. I find security in the knowledge that the man I'm with now isn't making an effort to hide shit from me. If I want to see his phone, I can. If he goes somewhere, I can go too. If I have a question, I don't have to feel weird about asking. When it comes to me, he's not going to claim "Privacy".  I feel more freedom and security in this relationship than I did in my marriage of 16 years.

Answer

I go through my boyfriends phone all the time and he doesnt care same with him going though my phone i dont care i have nothing to hide

Answer

My husbands phone is his and mine is mine. It's just a trust thing.

Answer

I think it is fine but you should only do it with his permission. Otherwise you're then breaking the trust in the relationship first if he's not doing anything wrong! 
What stuff do you find on his phone?

Answer

I go through my boyfriends phone all the time even though I know he has absolutely nothing to hide at all and I don't find anything I just like being nosy lol he gets so mad most of the time when I go through his phone

Answer

I'm not one to raid another persons private space even my husband. I have trust he isn't seeing another girl so I have no need to invade his personal space. How annoying

Looking at SO's phone?

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