Fantasizing about my partner?

Question

Am I literally the only person who tends not to think about my partner when I masturbate? It's not that I think about anyone else specifically, but i just don't typically think about having sex with him. I'm not sure why that is.

Answer

You're definitely not the only person. When I was younger, I used to be jealous of porn use in relationships and one of the first things I read on the topic was a man saying that masturbation was his "me" time. He said it - with or without porn - was when he could have fantasies about whatever he wanted without it becoming complicated like it may in real life (a threesome), being judged (something kinky), or having it be cheating (a person besides his partner). Now, masturbation is my "me" time too! I do think about my partner sometimes. But it's also a safe space to watch or think about whatever - or whoever - I feel like. There's no shame in that. Even though there's no real research on what people think about during masturbation, considering how many people watch porn (and that many likely have partners) I would venture to say we're not in the minority lol.

Fantasizing about my partner?

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