Just need to talk

So I had a miscarriage a few months back. It completely broke my heart. When I found out I was pregnant, I felt complete. Like I had been living my entire life as half a person. And this wonderful miracle baby was filling this place in my heart I didn't know needed filled. I was so extremely happy. My boyfriend rubbed my belly every day when he came home. We picked out names. We talked out what sports they'd do when they grew up. Whether or not they'd have my eyes or his. And then I started bleeding. Horrible amounts of blood. The pain was unbearable. So I went to the hospital. When the doctor came in and told me I wasn't pregnant anymore, I broke down. I was hysterical. I felt empty and lost. I'll never know what they would have looked like. Or what they'd smell like. What their hair would feel like. What color eyes they'd have. What their laugh would sound like. Or their voice saying mommy or daddy. They were gone. And they took a piece of me with them. It's been a few months now and I'm coping with it. But I still feel that empty feeling every time I see a baby or find out one of my friends is pregnant. I admit, I get a little jealous. I try not to and I'm always happy. Never resentful or angered. Just sad. I want to feel whole again. And I know a child isn't the only thing that will make me feel that way. But I honestly haven't found anything that compares to the way I felt. Basically what I'm trying to say is, how do you start to live again after a miscarriage? I don't want to forget about them. I don't want to feel like they never existed. Because whether anyone else feels the same or not, my child was here. They were real and growing inside of me. I may not have felt them or kissed them or saw them. But they were real. And I need advice on how to start to gain back some of the happiness and hope I had before. I'm just a little lost and down right now. Anything helps. Thank you. ♡♡♡