Help - how to stop him telling?!

Question

I am currently 9 weeks pregnant with our first. My partner is dying to tell his 11 year old daughter, since our close family all know already.

BUT we haven't yet had any scans or even heard a heartbeat. We had one meeting with the midwife and she just talked to us and took some blood. Our first scan will be at least three weeks from now but he wants to tell his daughter when we have her this weekend and nothing I say is dissuading him.

What if we tell her and then something is wrong?

Any words of wisdom?

Answer

Since she's 11 I think this is a wonderful opportunity to share the news with her and also help her learn about pregnancy, it's joys and its uncertainties. She's certainly old enough to understand and if you explain that you've had a positive test and heard a heartbeat but haven't seen a scan then she will be able to begin to comprehend the complexity of it all. I'm all for sharing the news about your/her family in an intentional, caring and thoughtful way. Good luck!

Answer

That's tough because he's obviously excited, but if something happened his daughter might not understand and will be very upset. I'd focus on that, and explain that it's about protecting her and telling her only when it's 'safe' to. I'd talk about how upset she might be. Because if I was in your position, that's what I'd be most worries about in telling her now / too early. Good luck xx

Answer

I was the same hun I fell pregnant beginning of the year and I told everyone (was my 4th) so had no worries but sadly we lost our angel so had to break the news to everyone which is hard. But now I'm 17 weeks pregnant and we decided not to tell until our 1st scan, but go with ur heart hun, go with what u think is best xx

Answer

You can always call your midwife and tell them what's going on and ask to hear the heartbeat. I hear mine at every appointment from 10weeks on.

Answer

I told my daughters on my last one and sadly lost the baby! My middle daughter had spent all her saved money on baby stuff when she was out with her friends and sadly I lost it after! She was completely devastated and honest to god she's been a wreck and acting out ever since which was 5mths ago. She gets upset when she sees babies or pregnant women she really hasn't been the same! Please stop him and tell him it could really really create something g in her that's not fair I wish to god I could take it back but I can't :(

Answer

Not quite the same but my husbands sister is only 14, close family have known a while but we said straight away we weren't telling her until we had seen/heard heartbeat and had a pic to show her so we had our scan on Thursday and we are telling her tomorrow!!! Our logic was if something bad happens then we are all adults to deal with it she on other had us just a child and it would be cruel to put her through that sort of pain or loss!! Hope it helps xx

Answer

Well my stepdaughter is 11 as well and I know your fear because prior to my son we had 3 unfortunate experiences. However this summer when we found out we were expecting we told our children straight out. My youngest is 2 so he doesn't understand but my stepdaughter has been such a support even being young. Truly I've found the support and positivity from the family is what helped ease my mind from thinking of the "what ifs "

Congrats and I really believe all will be fine!! Enjoy sharing this blessing with your family.

Help - how to stop him telling?!

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