Does anyone else's SO still party and not taking responsibility of their newborn?

Question

I've just had my first baby almost 4 weeks ago now and I thought the birth of our first baby would make my partner pull his head in and stop living the party life every week and weekend but it hasn't. He hardly helps me with him at all, never changes nappys, never feeds him bottles, hardly even cuddles him, and every weekend since coming home from hospital he's gone out to hang with mates, not just for a couple of hours, he's been out the whole night, one Saturday night he didn't come home until 2pm Sunday. He's going out again tonight to a friends birthday and I asked whether I could go instead of him and he cracked it at me. Does anyone else's partner act like this? I'm getting so over it. I feel like a single mother doing everything on my own.

Answer

Well,  the mistake is yours.  Simply because you didn't understand something that needed much understanding.  Having a child,  will NOT make things better, IF THEY ARE ALREADY BAD.  If your SO partied all night,  having a child will NOT change him. 
Sure,  there's SOME that will indeed become men over night and start acting like responsible fathers. But most will not change.  They will remain who they wore pre-baby.  Because that's who they ARE.
And further more,  you should have read into this bad behavior and not hoped that a baby will change him. Instead give him an ultimatum about his partying habits, and if he failed it, you should have left. 
Having kids will not ALWAYS make responsible adults out of party boys. 
I know I'm rude. I'm sorry.  But it's the truth without the sugar coat on it. ..
Try giving him the ultimatum now...of becoming a responsible father instead of a party animal. If he doesn't change,  you should leave his ass.
Also,  no loving,  honest,  responsible adult, would EVER leave his SO with a new born,  alone and go partying.
If my SO EVER did that,  he would sleep in the front porch that night.  The next time he does it, I'd make sure he's not within 100 feet of the house. .the third time I'd move out, divorce him and tell him he can fuck off..
The fact the your SO can do that over and over,  shows complete disrespect towards you and your baby. .it's ultimatum time babe. ..it's you and your child,  vs his partying.

Answer

How old you are two? My dh was like that when our son was born. He eventually out grew it. Have you explained to him how it makes you feel? That's the first step. I lost it eventually on my dh and he did start doing more. I had to fore him to hold and play eith our son after work just so I could make dinner and shower. He started to realize what I do do.

Answer

He does not. We haven't had our child yet but he is also 11 years older than your SO. It sounds like he hasn't grown up yet. In your position I'd have a talk with him and tell him he needs to grow up and be a responsible father and partner. If he doesn't you're already doing it on your own by the sound of it. Tell him if he doesn't you're leaving. Then actually be prepared to do so.  He will be required to pay child support so you can still get some help financially. Maybe you are ok with him going out once a month or something if he's doing his part the rest of the time. I recommend a calm rational chat with him.

Answer

Unfortunately, babies are not bandaids, they will not mend what is broken. You need to have a serious discussion with this man, and if change does not come, you should leave.

Does anyone else's SO still party and not taking responsibility of their newborn?

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