Should I consider?..

Question

My husband and I got married at our local courthouse in January. 
I personally never wanted a wedding, even when I was a kid. He's been talking about how he would like to have a wedding ceremony sometime in the future. 
​I'm a really shy/quiet person. I also have high and social anxiety. I'm the type of person who is fine sitting by herself, minding her own business, and trying everything I can to avoid talking to people. My problem is, I really don't want to be the center of attention, I don't want people looking at me walking down an aisle, I don't want to have to deal with people, I don't want to go dress shopping, and I don't want to spend a ton of money on something I don't have to do. 
​Also, his family is huge. I've only met a couple people outside of my inlaws on his side. I can't be around large groups of people because I'll have panic attacks, and I know they'll try to hug or talk to me. I don't really talk much as it is, and I don't want to come off as rude if they do speak and I don't respond. And hugging... My mom doesn't even try hug me unless I initiate it first. (I don't like being touched. I never did even as a child.)  
​On my side only my mom, dad, sister, and grandma would come. Maybe my dad's friend Kim. I also don't have any friends. (Which I'm ok with. I've never really had friends.) So if I do ever decide to do this, I'm going to tell him it has to be a small wedding. (Just my immediate and his.) But then again, he wants his whole family to come so they can all officially meet me, which brings me back to how I can't handle big crowds. 
​I love my husband so much, and I want to make him happy by doing this  in the next couple of years, but I don't think I could handle it. 
​Should I consider it more seriously? Am I wrong for not wanting a wedding ceremony?

Answer

If you don't want to, don't do it. If you want to make him happy, just make it immediate family. It's a compromise, and that's really important in relationships. Talk to him about it and tell him everything you told us. Your health (and money!) is more important than a ceremony.

Answer

Something you definitelydiscuss with your husband

Answer

You should maybe checkout Offbeat Bride (website and book). They have a ton of suggestions for how to create a personalized wedding that is true to YOU and not just traditional.
I would suggest a very small ceremony with immediate family only as a compromise. Then, anyone else he wants to introduce you to can be spread out in intimate visits so that you can get to know them one-on-one. You don't have to walk down the aisle alone, maybe he can walk with you or you both could start at the front together and family members enter the space after you're settled. Dress shopping doesn't have to be a huge ordeal, just wear what you're comfortable about. Marriage is all about compromising to make each other happy. If you're going to do a wedding for his sake, he should work with you to do it in a way that YOU are comfortable.

Answer

I didn't want a wedding but our families insisted. It turned out fun though. Everyone was so busy eating and having fun that I didn't feel responsible for anyone, and there was so much going on that I didn't have to talk to everyone. People at weddings are predisposed to enjoying themselves without much input from you :) but do tell your husband how you feel

Answer

We have a lot in common lol

Answer

No, not at all. If you don't feel comfortable with it then explain to your husband how it would affect you. I believe he would understand.

Should I consider?..

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