Should I consider?..
My husband and I got married at our local courthouse in January.
I personally never wanted a wedding, even when I was a kid. He's been talking about how he would like to have a wedding ceremony sometime in the future.
I'm a really shy/quiet person. I also have high and social anxiety. I'm the type of person who is fine sitting by herself, minding her own business, and trying everything I can to avoid talking to people. My problem is, I really don't want to be the center of attention, I don't want people looking at me walking down an aisle, I don't want to have to deal with people, I don't want to go dress shopping, and I don't want to spend a ton of money on something I don't have to do.
Also, his family is huge. I've only met a couple people outside of my inlaws on his side. I can't be around large groups of people because I'll have panic attacks, and I know they'll try to hug or talk to me. I don't really talk much as it is, and I don't want to come off as rude if they do speak and I don't respond. And hugging... My mom doesn't even try hug me unless I initiate it first. (I don't like being touched. I never did even as a child.)
On my side only my mom, dad, sister, and grandma would come. Maybe my dad's friend Kim. I also don't have any friends. (Which I'm ok with. I've never really had friends.) So if I do ever decide to do this, I'm going to tell him it has to be a small wedding. (Just my immediate and his.) But then again, he wants his whole family to come so they can all officially meet me, which brings me back to how I can't handle big crowds.
I love my husband so much, and I want to make him happy by doing this in the next couple of years, but I don't think I could handle it.
Should I consider it more seriously? Am I wrong for not wanting a wedding ceremony?
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