Not Ready

Soooo, I'm not sure I'm entirely ready for pregnancy. I test Friday to see whether I get a BFP or a BFN and I can't help but feel on the line. Do I really want this? What will happen if I am? Will my family end up approving? Will my husband still love me once I'm freaking huge? I keep worrying and worrying and o think it's eating me alive. I noticed that the hubs and I have been getting into a lot more arguments lately too. Not just small ones, but significant ones. We love each other to death but I've been short with him lately and ready to just give up. I can't tell if these are natural or not. We've always been best friends, but trying to get pregnant seems to be straining our relationship but also saving it as well. After AF comes, everything is soooo much better. I don't get cranky as much and our relationship soars through the roof. Any suggestions on how to make it more stable?? Oh...yeah, I caught him smoking occasional pot behind my back...and now I have this horrible paranoia that he's cheating. How can I get this to disappear? I know he'd never cheat and we check each other's phones constantly. He's clean. He also stopped smoking pot and drinking. I would appreciate any advice!!