I need to be my own motivator

Ok I had struggled with my weight 2 years ago I gained a shot load of weight and then lost it I didn't get near my goal weight I'm not as bad as I was but I'm also not very comfortable, yet I eat crap I don't drink anymore and haven't done for over a year, I'm looking back on my insta thinking you done it twice before you can do it again unjust haven't got the motivation to workout or eat good even though I want to so bad my sister is a fitness freak and it kinda puts me off cos she is so dedicated I feel like a failure and she's tough love kinda person 😂😂 so I make a vow to myself as I write this tomorrow shall be a new day fresh start anyone with me on this healthy journey also I'm ttc baby no 1 and I can't bear to gain the weight again 👎🏻