Victim of rape

So... I am a victim of rape. It happened two years ago when I was 17 ... Ever since then it's hard to trust. My last relationship ended because I pushed him to the limit. I was insecure and scared that he would hurt me so he grew tired and left... Now I'm in a new relationship and I'm starting to do the same... What should I do? I don't want him to give up on me because he's a great guy but I can't control it ?