Social anxiety? (Long--oops!)

Question

Okay, I'm starting off by saying I'm a middle school girl. I decided to mention that because everyone always assumes I can get in a car and do everything myself, but the nearest Kaiser from me is like an hour and a half away so I can't go myself. 
Okay, so I think I might have social anxiety. I feel like I have to look perfect because I think everyone is judging me. My face burns a bright red whenever I present in class or talk to the one person I like, and my voice gets shaky. I straighten my hair daily because I'm afraid people will think I look messy and they won't like its naturally curly texture. It gets frizzy and curly in some parts throughout the day and I find myself constantly touching it because I want it to look good, not for myself, but for others. But I don't like touching my hair because I'm afraid people will think I'm weird for touching it so much. I feel like people are just constantly judging me. I also sometimes have thoughts wondering if my best friends actually enjoy my company or if they're just putting up with me so they don't hurt my feelings. If I get really nervous, I'll feel light headed, I'll get tired, I'll physically shake and my teeth chatter, my voice gets shaky. I don't lien showing my real emotions. If I'm sad, I don't let anyone see it. If I want to laugh, I'll try and conceal it. I think people will think I'm weird for some odd reason. My parents don't understand, they want me to shower every morning but that means going to school with an Afro. I told them my hair would get crazy. They said, "So? Who cares!" In which I replied, "I care!" They obviously didn't understand how I felt at all. I just always feel like I'm doing things for others, and never myself. Even if I'm doodling in class and the teacher says my name, I'll jump and my face will burn up. I even have think things to impress other people, even if they can't hear me. I keep telling myself to stop lying to myself. 
My brother has anxiety, he goes to therapy and takes medication. He's 11. If I tell my parents, which I don't think I could ever do as I don't like sharing my true emotions, they would probably think I was over exaggerating and they'd continue focusing on my brother and his problems. They'd think I said it for attention. Not to mention I'm not talking to anyone about how I feel, therapist or not. I know that they're there to help, but I physically feel like I cannot do it, no matter what. Same thing with my parents. Same thing with my own best friends! 
What do I do? Do you think it's anxiety? I know people in the comments will just tell me to man up and tell them, but I really can't. I don't think I could ever make myself. Thank you for any advice, I really need it!

Answer

I literally feel the exact same way!! I have social anxiety too.☹ Finally found someone who feels the way I do. In in middle school too by the way.

Answer

The majority of people have anxiety too, and they are just as nervous as you, just working hard to cover it up. I was the same way and can say that 15 years later, none of it matters: the impressing friends, looking trendy, etc. You'll look back and realize that the "cool" people really weren't that special and could even be classified as "dorks."  I do recommend seeing a therapist because that is what helped me the most. Having someone back me up that I could just talk to, and they understood. I could never talk to my parents about it because they weren't approachable and were the reason I cared so much about what other people thought. The therapist was on my side and I was always so excited on days I'd get to go.   Good luck and keep the faith. There's no better friend than the Lord. Seek Him and he'll keep you on the right track.

Answer

Anxiety is a clinical disorder, and only a medical professional can answer this for you. But here's my feeling, if you truly had social anxiety you wouldn't have posted this. You would have been too concerned with what complete strangers would think about you. Listening to you, you just sound like a perfectly normal 13 year old girl to me. I would bet serious money that your classmates are too busy having the same thoughts about themselves to judge you. This is normal for your age. You are becoming more aware of your body, social expectations, and grooming to attract a mate. All normal. No suggestions here are going to change anything for you. You control your feelings and the words of another person will not change your feelings. So all I can offer is perspective. You are in middle school. I am 36 years old. I have exactly nothing to do with any of the people I went to middle school, or high school, or college with. You know people now, but you won't know them forever. So their opinion, perspective, or judgement if you does not matter one bit. It really truly doesn't. Be who you want to be. If that's a person that wears yellow and black stripped tights to school everyday, then do it. This is your chance to be anyone that you want to be in life, take it. Explore, try new things, and try not to let societal expectations limit your life. Also, I have naturally curly hair, so I feel you. I would suggest showering at night, let the hair dry, and use a straightener/hot iron in the morning. Or own the curls. Everyone is always envious of mine, even though I just find them to be a huge pain in the butt. I choose to own mine, they are who I am. I add product to wet hair (I can give you recommendations if you'd like), diffuse with hair dryer, and finish with hairspray for all day hold. Good luck girl!

Answer

Yes.  You have anxiety.  It sucks.  I've had it since I was little.  Tell your parents.  Who knows?  They may understand. Then they can make an appointment for you.  If you're not ok with telling them just yet, why don't you talk to your school guidance counselor.  They have tons or resources and may be able to speak to your parents on your behalf to get the ball rolling. Anxiety and depression also tend to run in families which is probably why your little bro has it too.  So they may be more understanding. Don't be ashamed.  You can get it under control and learn ways to cope with or without meds.  I learned after a few years of therapy that I needed to try meds and I've gotten so much better.  I tell people all the time how much I love my lexapro.  :) Don't worry, you belong to a VERY large club! Good luck to you!

Social anxiety? (Long--oops!)

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