When to walk away

Question

At what point should you just give up and walk away from a man who just won't marry you? We had our wedding all planned and booked and engagement ring bought and then he cancelled everything. That was almost a yr ago. I asked him today if he saw us ever getting married and his answer was well in other words a very polite no that wasn't a no flat out. I've had to tell my family the engagement and wedding was off and that was beyond humiliating as I was pregnant at the time. I also had to tell my sibling to remove me as Matron Of Honor which again beyond humiliating. I just idk. What's the point if the relationship will never be seen as something worth advancing and taking more serious? Why hang on when I'm being clearly kept in a position to be easily disposed of?

EDIT: He cancelled everything because we ended up going through a rough patch in our relationship and he claimed to have lost confidence in us. I felt that he used that as an excuse since we had only been arguing for maximum 2 weeks off and on when he chose to cancel it. Anyways it's immature I know and see my errors but because he did that it made me pretty resentful and argue even harder with him on the issue we had. It's still not resolved but we argue about it maybe once a month for 2-3 hrs vs every other day for the entire day. I won't say it's fixed but I thought we had taken good steps back towards a happy healthy relationship but I guess not since he still feels the exact same way. I just want to kinda say "don't call me your stupid forever love and get my hopes up when you can't confidently show me forever." I guess I'm just disappointed and feel humiliated again.

Answer

If marriage is a deal breaker for you, it seems he's made himself clear on the matter. You either have to accept that he will probably never come around and remain in a committed but non-legal union, or leave.

Answer

With all due respect it doesn't seem he cancelled cuz a rough patch it seems he cancelled cuz he does not want to marry you? Have you asked him why he doesn't want to marry you? Well it seems to me you may need to move on but it sounded like now there is a child involved which really complicates things. You could try counceling. But honestly it doesn't sound like he wants to commit to you. How long have you guys been together.  Side note: Go on YouTube and watch Divorce Court with judge Lynn Toler she gives great advice to couples looking to marry! Wishing you the best!

Answer

Typically when someone calls off the engagement that's the end of the relationship. I can't imagine the embarrassment (and heart ache) that you've had to endure over this. Cancelling everything and having to tell your family and being pregnant ...its a lot to deal with. I would be extremely angry with him and would probably leave him. It would be too hard for me to accept going backward in a relationship rather than moving forward.

Answer

It's strange that he went into the engagement and wedding plans as far as he did, then changed his mind and cancelled. Did he say why? Or give any explanation? Something seems weird. Don't ask him if he ever see you married, ask if he sees you being together for ever. If he says yes, then maybe ask for a simple courthouse wedding. Some people just don't believe in marriage, but it's still weird to me that you were engaged and mid-planning a wedding, then he stopped it.

When to walk away

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