What should you do when your child is “the bully”?

Question

Bullying is one of my worse fears as a parent. How do parents recognize and accept that their child is a bully and address the issue appropriately? It’s so easy to get blinded by our love. Has anyone here dealt with this problem?

Accepted Answer

If my child was a bully (God forbid) he would face serious punishment 😐 All toys/games/privileges will be taken away for a loooong time, and he'll be doing chores for as long as I feel is right. And I would take him to the house of each and every child he's bullied and make him apolgise to the child and the family and promise to never do that again. And then he's going to have an ear full from both mum and dad about how horrible his behaviour is and about where he will be ending up if he doesn't change his ways immediately. 😤

Answer

They don't accept it. They are delusional and think their children are angels. I've seen it. Worked with children for years. Parents of bullies never take responsibility.

Answer

Thanks, ladies! My child is just 8mo, I was asking generally b/c this is is such a difficult issue to deal with and *IF* (knock on wood) I ever deal with this situation I want to be able to address it, instead of just trying to protect my child. My mom thought me to stand up for myself when I was little, if I got kicked I should kick back, if I was bitten I should bite back. However, I don't agree w/ that approach ☺️

Answer

What really bothers me is how many people saying "bullying means there something wrong with the child" . i think thats pretty harsh. Counsiling , i think is also pretty harsh. what are you gonna do if your 5 year old bully's ? bring them to counseling ? Theres things that can be done at home . especially without making them feel so shitty by saying something is wrong with them. I was in a mental hospital and met a kid that was 7 years old trying to kill himself . Maybe theres underlying problems that he just needs someone to be there for him/her. No bullying in no case is okay but theres better ways to handle it i think then putting the kid down and making them feel worse

Answer

You can try counseling or the other way I found it works wit my nephew is reverse roll play.  It's gonna be tough but it makes him/her step into the kids shoes they bullying and then have then tell you or write you what they felt when they got bullied. Then talk to them if they didn't like how it felt then why should they do it to others. Treat others like how you want to be treated. But always consultant a guidance counselor as well if you can

Answer

See I am a single mother of a month old child. His father is not in the picture and shouldn't be knowing the dynamics of his father's home. Good people but a lot of drama. Some how I attract that as well in my life.

Its tough, I mean my parents bullied me in some ways cause of their controlling nature. Especially my own father who is non other than an insecure, narcissistic, workaholic. Who just doesn't see things from other people's point of view.

I hope my own personality does not. Rub off my son in a negative way to cause him to bully. But if he does the consequences will be severe. Where things will not only be taken away but also some Changes will need to he needed. But I don't believe he will bully at all.

I think the reason for bullying is to get some attention or from spoiling too. It's not easy to determine if it is really from a mental illness or not. Yet every person needs to learn in their own way the reason for bullying.

Answer

Give them a high five and say good job!! Nah I'm kidding. If your kid is bullying someone, then he's missing something from home. Or has a mental health issue. Did you go through a divorce or something?

Answer

Punishment wouldn't really work but otherwise it would make him worse. She/he will feel that others are more important and by that he will make the other kid less, telling the other kid that everything (the punishments) is his fault. This is a hard theme but not impossible. I would make sure that he spends more time with those kids instead of "his friends" because at these age mostly every kid follow the steps of older kids. Take him together to get ice cream, the park, a game, to eat, or just bring them home and make sure my kid is at least trying to have fun. Obviously is not going to end from one day to another but eventually he will have fun with that kid.

Answer

I was bullied by one of my mums friends sons, they spat in my hair on several occasions while being egged on by other kids(also daughters/sons of my mums friends) one day I had enough and came home crying, told my mum and she went straight on the phone to his mum and other mums and dads and they took them down to the door and had them apologise, she then said he was grounded for 2months and similar punishments for the others eg no phone etc. That was the last time I had any problems. I lived in a little village where everyone knew everyone and I hope other parents would have the nerve to talk to the other parents and have an adult discussion about it. If my son was to ever bully others I'd want to know so I could disapline my son appropriately and teach him it's wrong to bully anyone.

Answer

Often times kids who bully were once bullied themselves. I would first let my child know it is wrong, take away any electronics they could contact others with and then would take them to counciling because clearly something is wrong with them and they need help from the inside out❤️

What should you do when your child is “the bully”?

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