I don't know were to start.

OK I'm 9 weeks pregnant, I have a lo of 5 months soon to be 6 in 2 weeks, I found out I was pregnant starting of February going along my dates I thought I was about 10,11 weeks now until I had an ultrasound and actually found out I was 7,5 days at the time. I had a very successful pregnancy and water birth with my first, but now I suffer with postnatal depression due to not bonding very much. Since finding out I'm not as far as I thought I was. My mind can't seem to take in that I'm pregnant, I was happy until my 5 month started learning to use his voice and now screams (crying and not crying) at every possible moment he can, most of the time I can just about make out what he wants, other times I wanna rip my hair out. OK what I am writing about is I have agreed to go through a medical abortion due to not being able to handle looking after 2 babies, also I'm stressed to my limits, I feel I got pregnant way to quickly, it wasn't planned, me and my partner should have used condoms as I was on the pill. I feel terrible for doing this but I have to to make myself feel right about being a mother again to my baby boy, sorry if this offends anyone please no bad comments