Don't know what to do..
When I was 14, I spent my birthday at my brothers house. He was married, just had a son, and my cousin was there. They were all upstairs.
I was in the basement, my brother kept texting me sexual things. I figured (he's weird. He's probably just messing with me like always)
So I ignored his texts, and went to bed. I woke up to him laying next to me. He's my brother so I didn't care. I looked at him and his eyes were closed so I went back to sleep. I woke up again to him rubbing my side. I moved away and that's when he hit me and held me down. He raped me.. With his wife and son upstairs. I tried to scream but nothing would come out. When he was done he said "get dressed and dont tell anyone." I sat on the ground for at least an hour.. I was in shock. Then i heard the basement door open and I froze up, and started to panic. It was him again. He did it again.
I'm now 16..
2 weeks after it happened I came forward. No one believed me. My mom ignored it just like she did when i was 6 and was touched by an older man. My dad called me a liar.
My step dad is the only one who believed me. We went to the police and when I was 15 i had to go to the grand jury and testify. It was hard.. But he was charged and put into jail.
I started to lash out at my counselors because he wasn't charged with rape. And he only got one year in county jail.
Counseling didn't work. I got taken out of school because I couldn't handle being in a room full of people. I lost ALL of my friends.
Worst of all.. To this day, my family hates me. I'm no longer invited to family parties or events. I have 3 sisters, 3 brothers. Only one of my sisters believed me. The rest told me to never talk to them again.
And my mom.. She never once asked if I was okay.
He got out of jail today. And my dad took me to his house. I didn't see him but i started to panic when i saw his house..
All I can think about is that night and seeing him laugh as I cried and begged him to stop.
Im falling apart and i just want to die.
For a few months i was fine, but as soon as i heard he was getting out, Im back to that place. Im more alone than ever.
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