Advice?

Question

My boyfriend likes to go out and have drinks with his friends every weekend.. He gets drunk at bars etc.... He's 21. I'm 19. I'm currently 18 weeks.. I feel lonely some times and feel like he always wants to be out and about instead of being with me.. We have been fighting so much because I hate that he goes out all the time... Am I over exaggerating? Should I be okay with it? Or am I right for wanting him to not go out all the time? Ugh.. Any advice welcomed.. I've talked to him about it he clearly doesn't care. Should I leave him over this..

Answer

This would definitely make me feel uncomfortable too :( I think that it's important for a guy to enjoy himself how he can before all the responsibilities of being a father come, but he needs to be there for you too. Plus it may be harder for you to enjoy the things you want to before motherhood since you're restricted to things because of pregnancy. So I think it's also nice if your partner is willing to make some sacrifices along with you. Expecting a baby can definitely put some stress on anyone's relationship, so hang in there and I think you should give it a chance. No matter what you do, he's the father of your child so I think it's worth the effort on your relationship. Also understand that maybe he has his own big worries about having to become a father and maybe this could be a way of coping with them. Give him opportunities/ encourage him to be honest about what his feelings are and let him know that you can be there for him to help cope with anything he needs to. Relationships should be about helping eachother even if your so frustrated with him that you don't want to try. It can be really hard and unfair, I know. I hope you guys can find ways to communicate well without it leading to more fights! I hope that anything I've said has been helpful to you, lol. Good luck girl!

Answer

You guys are both pretty young at 21 all you want to do is hang out in bars.  Give him some time to grow up see how he behaves once the baby has arrived, good luck.

Answer

My husband doesn't go out drinking but he works nights in a bar as security(2hrs away from home)and he also doesn't seem to realise that at some point further down the line i will need his support. But I am not mad about it, i think it's just how certain men think. They don't realise the impact having a baby will have until it's here! Give your man a chance to realise what is happening, I don't think he understands yet. If his behaviour continues after your child is here, then yes you will have to reconsider your relationship. In the meantime pick up a hobby for when he is out or hang out with your girlfriends! I hope it all works out for you.

Answer

Bless you for even being okay with him doing that before you were pregnant. I trust my boyfriend I really do, but leaving me at home to go drinking with his friends ? I would not be there when he gets back. Pregnant or not i'd give him hell honestly. I know there are some people who are okay with that and I get it, but I personally am not. If he wants to behave that way he should have stayed single. You do all of that stuff BEFORE you get serious with someone. 
I'm 18 and my boyfriend is 21. He goes from home to work and back home , spends evenings and nights with me (obviously) then on weekends he plays soccer and we go out. He's perfectly fine with that and so am I. It's not boring to us and we don't feel the need to be out with friends (separately) doing single people stuff. What's going to happen when the baby comes and he's still doing those things? You should really have a talk with him

Answer

You can't change him if he isn't ready to change. The things that you consider may not be the same to him.  You both are very young and he may be processing this pregnancy different. If this is who he is than you just have to try to cope and hope that when the baby arrives something clicks in him or move on.

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