Having a hard time need words of encouragement

Last month I had to have a D&C and it was so hard on me and now I'm slowly starting to get back to my old routines but it always hits me at odd times that I've lost my baby because I wanted it so bad and in the blink of an eye it was gone! Tomorrow being Mother's Day has really hit home for me and I can't shake the feeling that I don't get to be the mommy I've dreamed of being! ❤️😭👼🏻