Stepmum's Miscarriage
First of all, I'm very lucky to have two sets of fantastic parents & to be blessed with a sister & two half brothers. Two weeks ago, I found out that my stepmum was around 5 weeks pregnant with a half brother or sister. She told us after my auntie had been asking when they would be having another. Well, my dad & stepmum couldn't stop smiling so my auntie guessed & they then had no choice but to confirm the happy news (which is why they told me). Today, I was working from 4pm until 10pm & on a toilet break at around 9pm, I received a text.. I was hungry, tired & fed up of dealing with customers & the last thing I expected to find was a text saying my stepmum had miscarried. I cried for ages, hysterically sobbing into the sink. I thought about how I'd seen the early scan (it only looked like a blob but I recognised it straight away), we worked out she would be due around July & we discussed baby names. I felt really excited; even though it was early days & I thought nothing bad would happen. There was only an hour until the end of my shift & even though I wanted to go home, desperately, I decided to stay as they needed me. Apart from crying & being a little upset from 9pm until 10pm, I'm feeling quite happy about my life right now, as I'm quite blessed; I have amazing family, wonderful friends who I'm finally building a social life with, a well-paid job, I'm succeeding at university etc. Is it normal to feel like this? I only really get upset when I overthink about situations. I keep thinking maybe it's for the best; two of my grandparents (one off either side) have just been diagnosed with cancer, which luckily hasn't spread for either of them & it can be removed during a lumpectomy, so obviously she will have been stressed, as we all have been. I feel horrible for thinking this but I keep telling myself; the baby was only in my life for a few weeks &
they already have a happy, healthy one-year-old, who I love more than life itself. I will always love & miss it but my sadness was quite short-lived. What do you think? x
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