BG: We are 29. Dating for 6 years, married 4. We have one 3yo dd, had a stillborn dd 8/15, a miscarriage 3/16, and now I'm 9wks pregnant.

This evening my dh was getting ready to leave for work, but he couldn't find his keys. So he was looking all over the house and after maybe 20 mins when he still can't find them I start looking too. Well we are both looking all over the house but he is just tearing through everything, moving furniture and not putting stuff back. Well he finally gives up and is just going to use his spare but I told him he needed to go back inside and put the heavy furniture back where it goes and not just leave it. He got all huffy but came inside and did it.

I know it seems like a petty thing, but it is just a bigger symptom of our problems. I feel so resentful and that I do everything by myself. I mean sucks you lost your keys but he never puts them up in one spot, he has his clothes thrown around the house constantly. You don't get to fuck up the house and just leave when you get what you want.

I just feel like he adds to my problems, my stress. Both partners in a marriage are supposed to bring something to a marriage...I could survive without him, I don't think he could without me. I just wish we had a true partnership where I could fully rely on him to have his shit together, like he relies on me having my shit and half of his too.

I have always been the breadwinner. Well he got an opportunity to become a driver with his company, which meant good hours, good pay, even could mean me going to part time or even staying home for a bit after baby. Well he had to go to a training, he did OK until the driving test. He failed it, not horribly but not enough to pass. At the time I was also out of town for work, so now I have him calling and crying and all this while I'm trying to work. I feel like he's acting like I'm just sitting around doing nothing but waiting to solve his problems. I kinda have my own shit that I have to deal with also. And I didn't even know how to respond truthfully. I have always carried this family, and we had a chance for him to step up, to give me a break...and he failed. I want to be supportive, loving understanding wife but honestly I'm resentful, disappointed. I mean you had one fucking job! It makes me think is this the rest of my life? Hoping maybe he'll get it together in 5, 10, 15 years?

And now this pregnancy is kicking my butt-im tired all the time, taking care of did and working and stressed out and hating my job. And I have to get up every morning and go to work while he sleeps in an empty house (he works overnights), picks up dd at 5:45 and spends the rest of the evening either sleeping or on his phone until he has to go in. It really looks like the life. The life that I will never have if I'm with him because someone has to make enough to pay the bills.

I just don't know if its salvageable or if I even want to save it. I think for me to be happy my dh needs a whole new personality, motivation, ambition. He's not a bad guy, he's just not what I need or want in a husband, and I'm tired of waiting and hoping that one day he will become the man that I need. I want a true partner, someone who wants to work just as hard as I do, who has ambition and perseverance to better their life. I have just lost so much respect for my dh.

Much thanks if you made it all the way through. I am really considering separation/divorce.