PPD. .

I am 3 months post partum. About a month ago my grandmother passed away suddenly at a young age from a severe heart attack. She was 60 .. and she and I were very close.

I struggle away from home. I live on the other side of the country with my S/O and around her entire family.

I am good at holding myself together but lately..

Ive lost interest in my relationship. I just wanna sleep. I am terrified to have sex and cant be bothered just because I dont want to put fourth the effort.

I am tired all the time. So tired I cant keep up with what anyone is saying to me. I space out A LOT. I panic a lot. I dont want to leave my daughter's side. I always picture the worst case scenerio to any situation and play it over and over in my head.

I honestly dont like my S/O's family too much. For numerous reasons. I try so hard but I just cant.

My family is so far away. And since my grandma passing I wanna go home and be home. My S/O has nothing but bad things to say about my family so I am afraid to bring it up...

I want to run away. Take my child and go home. And I am terrified how easy it feels for me to up and leave. I just cant handle anything anymore. ..

Idk I just needed to vent. .