I am 5'4 and 170 pounds, overweight. I'm very self conscious and am always on the lookout for wandering eyes on me in public. I feel so insecure when I see a group of thin beautiful girls laughing. Becuase of my anxiety, I always feel like every giggle is at me. Many, many times I have tried to lose weight. But I always end up back in bad eating habits, and hiding away from the world in my house. there's so much hate, and anxiety within myself. It's preventing me from moving on in my life to do great things. Even worse, my relationship isn't going anywhere because of how I feel about myself. I haven't been swimming since I was 13.. Been quite a few years. I just know how disgusted I'll feel looking at my body. And how it'll kill me to look at the model bodies and pretty faces. If I don't have a full face of makeup on, and hair extensions in, I feel hideous. But then I also think, look at my fat body.. Why even try to look attractive? "Just do cardio, go on a run" I get anxiety jogging around other people. My whole situation is fucked. Even I realize how stupid this sounds, but it's real and how I feel. I want that sharp jaw line. I want small ankles. I want collarbones. I want rid of this awful back fat and disgusting arm fat. I'm sure I'll get hate for this post, but I appreciate the people being honest and real. Please help me lose this weight. Please tell me how you lost it. I need somewhere to start with this anxiety. I even saw a slight difference in my face & legs after 2 weeks of dieting (that was without working out.) and yet I still ended up back to eating sloppy and feeling awful. I lack motivation.. I just feel as if I will never have my dream body. I'm willing to try. I want to do this and feel good. I want to wear whatever the hell I want without having to think "oh god what if my arms or legs or etc look fat or gross" I know I'll get the Beauty comes within and all that. Even if everyone thought my body was perfect, I'd still change this body, becuase I can't stand the way I look. I feel hopeless. I feel like no matter how hard I push I will always care how much better some one else will look. I need to stop comparing myself to others and I know that.  I just need help, motivation, some kind words and tips. If you have any before and afters I'd greatly appreciate it.