Post partum anger or sadness... I'm not sure which

Hey eveyone... so long story short... I had my son very early, at 24 weeks exactly... and he is currently in the NICU [doing well], and just turned one month.. but I'm still kind of holding in my sadness about it. So I just needed somewhere to vent I guess....

I'm happy my son is here and doing well, but I wish I could have grown him so much longer inside of me... he is my first child, and I am sad that I didn't get to experience the big 9 month tummy with the cute maternity clothes. I'm sad that the 2 maternity shirts I Owned I wasn't able to wear and look really pregnant in them. I'm sad that I didn't get to do any cute maternity pictures... and I'm angry that my baby has to be in the NICU for so long... at least until late October. I try so hard to stay strong about it and try to be positive about it, but the truth is I'm really upset about it. I tried talking to my husband about it and all he tells me is "nothing you can do about it so just stop thinking that way"... but I can't help it. I miss feeling him kick and move around. I didn't even get to experience the weird moving tummy when he got bigger...

And I hate that he's not home with me, but instead in a children's hospital an hour and a half away... I miss my son..

I just had to get that off my chest..