Am I scared of Him or scared of marriage?

Question

I've been with my man for 7 years. Since 7th grade. We've had many many ups and downs, a lot more downs than ups tho. We've made it through a lot. A whole lot, and I do truly love him. I care for him unlike anyone else. He recently asked me to marry him, of course I said yes. But we've had problems these past few months and suddenly, my heart tells me I don't REALLY want to marry him. 😔 it saddens me so much! He's all I ever wanted. I wanted marriage and family with him (our baby will be born in 8 short weeks!) but I truly believe I am scared to marry him. I believe it won't last and a divorce is the LAST thing I would ever want. 
I see the potential he has, and I know the kinda person he will be for me and my son, But I just don't think he's ready for truly committing to one person, or is that what I've convinced myself to believe? I think he still has a wild hair he would want to explore.. Which is what scares me. 
I don't know if I'm filling my head with doubt and trying to blame it on him, when really it's me... 
I'm more than ready to be someone's wife and just love them unconditionally until the day we can't any longer. 
I know having a baby don't change anyone but I'm praying!!! that having our son will open his eyes (or is it mine that are closed?) and see what a great family we can be..

I don't know what to say ladies. I love this man, he's all I ever want.. But I'm scared of divorce, I'm scared of being hurt or cheated on down the road, I'm scared of being alone if he leaves. (But I know I would be perfectly okay alone!) I'm scared of having to decide whether it's "mommas or daddy's weekend" this week.
I just want the picture perfect family (even tho I know nothing will ever be perfect!)

I don't know if it's marrying HIM I'm scared of.. Or marriage itself... 😔

Answer

I think you're being very smart. You guys are suuuuper young and have lots of time to make such a commitment. And that wild oats thing is real; a couple I knew that was joined at the hip all through college and got married right after then got divorced in their mid 20s, largely because he felt he was missing out on all the fun other young people were having, while she was ready for a settled married life. Listen to your instincts! You can be totally in love and still not ready for marriage at the moment.

Answer

I would encourage you to listen to your gut. If there's any part of you that doesn't want to marry him then you should listen to it. Especially since you've had more downs than ups. One of my favorite quotes (and I'm not going to get it exactly right) is "don't stick with a mistake just because you spent a lot of time making it". Maybe you do love him but you're not in love with him or he's not the right person for you. That's okay! I think you should talk to him about how you're feeling but ultimately, go with your gut!

Answer

There's two things you can do. Tell him how you feel so you can have a happy marriage. OR don't marry at all if you're doubting him already. In order to marry someone you have to feel confident about this commitment. Marriage isn't a joke.

Answer

Since you are having doubts I would wait to get married. Just have a long engagement, there's nothing wrong with that. Have your baby and see if you feel differently afterwards. Perhaps right now your pregnancy hormones are getting the best of you? Either way I would wait a while to get married to make sure you are both ready to make that commitment. Good luck to you 💕

Am I scared of Him or scared of marriage?

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