Missing my son

Last September I had a miscarriage. I quickly became pregnant again and had a beautiful baby boy in June. This September he passed away. Our daughter is five and was such an amazing sister to him. All she wants is another brother or sister. We know no baby can replace him, or take away the pain, but we wanted to get pregnant right away to continue our family. It's been such an emotional time and it's become so stressful trying to get pregnant again. For some reason it's just not happening as quickly as it typically does. And it just hit me that if I were to get pregnant this month (period starts in 6 days) the due date would be 3 days before my son passed. As badly as I want to get pregnant, I don't think I could handle celebrating a birthday in September. It's such a devastating month. I'm so torn :(