I'm crying I hate the fact that I'm ttc and I'm on my stupid period

I've been trying for so long an I got excited thinking I was pregnant but noo this stupid ass period just had to show go on the 11th which I am on right now. I'm so sick of it it makes me depressed thinking sorry you'll never get pregnant. This is why I don't test if I miss my period because I know it's just going to be a bfn. I already know it will be like that once I start to try again so there's no point in me anymore to even think it will happen. Point blank period I give up. So many sex with my partner, been eating healthy, etc but still it's always nothing. I hate myself right now