Friends too involved? When is it too far. Read description first!

Question

Ok I'll try to make this as short as possible. Last Saturday my boyfriend and I got into a fight and I called my supposed best friend crying for support. We talked I felt better. My boyfriend came home and we talked it out and resolved the issue. We both realize we have things to work on. So he went out with a group of people that night which I was ok with.

My friend was not ok with it. She texted me asking why he was in pictures with girls at the club. I told her I know he was there and I'm fine with it. (He's not even near the girls in the pics, there were more guys then girls). She started getting upset saying he shouldn't of done that and he should be home with me. I told her I wasn't concerned and she shouldn't be either. I trust him and I know he just wants me. That's enough for me. The convo ended with that.

A few days later another friend texted me asking randomly why my boyfriend is at the club with girls. So the other one obviously told her. I was at work and told her those girls have boyfriends and I know them and I trust him. Basically what I told the other one. The conversation ended

I told my boyfriend about this and he was irritated (rightfully so) by their behavior.

That was more then a week ago. Today they group message me saying that I'm being nieve and that I should of been mad he went out. I'm still not worried about it and don't see the reason for them to be so concerned if I'm not. I told them to end it and that it's going no where and they just kept going on and on saying negative things and comparing it to other relationships. I understand they're looking out for me but this is too much. Now I'm pissed because my friends don't like my boyfriend of 3 years that I live with. My boyfriend is through the roof because he did nothing wrong and they were almost insinuating that he cheated I know he would never.

One friend is bitter from a breakup over a year ago (from my boyfriends best friend) and the other is in a useless marriage and doesn't know the whole story even.

What should I do?! I feel like I have to choose. If I have to I'll choose my boyfriend because they did not listen to me at all.

Answer

Shelly said it best. Believe it or not when you are in a relationship you cannot tell your friends everything you feel whenever you feel it. You are asking for them to get involved then.

Answer

That has happened to me a lot . I know you want to talk to your friends about everything . But remember when you talk about certain things to them . Tha gives them room to state there opinion . They are just looking out for you . So I would just keep it between yourself and your bf . I works out best that way .

Answer

Hate to say it but this kind of falls back on you. You cannot tell people outside of your relationship certain things. I don't even really speak with my friends about fights with my boyfriend because we'll work it out and in their mind that moment is frozen. It's hard for them to get past, even if it's easy for you. Not saying you can't share stuff with your friends but I'd take that into consideration next time. Also I wouldn't have shared with my boyfriend what they said either, that's just breeding more drama between the two of them.

It could've simply been left at "we fixed our problems, and I'd appreciate if you moved on from this like I have and didn't speak with others about it either" to the first friend.

Answer

My friends do similar things. I'm the only one in my friend group who really dates that regularly and my friends always make their opinions about my boyfriends known, even if I didn't ask for them -- which I rarely do, because my friends can be super negative and catty! They constantly compare my current SO to my last, who was my first love and really crushed me when we broke up, and I really don't appreciate it. I've told them to back off and stop making those comparisons, but I know they just talk about it behind my back... Anyway, long story short, I feel your pain.

Answer

This is one of many reasons why I don't have any "girl" friends. Toooo much drama!! I'll surround myself with my kids and husband so I don't have to deal with the high school catty drama that girls/women bring.

Answer

I think it's wonderful that you and your boyfriend talk to work out your problems and that you trust him. Sounds to me like your friends might be pushing their current negative feelings on men in their situations on to you and your Relaionship. they might mean well but you know what's best for you, you seem very strong and secure in your relationship. It's always good to talk it out if they're good friends but don't let their insecurities rub off on you. I'm sure there's a lot more to it but from what I understood that's what I think :)

Answer

Maybe they know something more than you think and are just trying to let you down gently? I dont know, sometimes girls can be conniving but a group of them saying the same thing? Hmmm..

Answer

I think they are trying to look out for you. I wouldn't throw my friendship away over this.

Answer

It's simply not they're place to say whether you should be mad or not. I lost a couple of friendships over the same thing. I learned that it's better to go through certain things on my own. Just never forget that misery needs company. & if someone is going through or went through something similar to you, they're always going to compare the two.

Answer

How old are you? I just want to set the scene- is this high school? College? 30s?

Friends too involved? When is it too far. Read description first!

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