Am I crazy?

Call me crazy if you like because I know it's crazy. I miscarried at the end of November but sometimes I catch myself hoping that MAYBE it was just heavy bleeding. Despite the low hcg blood levels and negative pregnancy tests sometimes I feel a flame of hope. Maybe AF won't come and I'll test and it'll be positive. I know it's not possible (no sex since miscarriage due to my SO's job location) but I can't help it...