Depression due to husband. Need help

I love my DH more than anything but when ever I bring something up that I think is a big deal and express it in my own way it's all wrong according to him. The way I deal with anything is always wrong. If I feel he's being mean to me and I express that to him it's wrong and I caused it some how. He tells me all the time that I am a selfish and I don't ever stop to think how he feels. I know I'm selfish and I do think about how I make him feel and frankly I don't care if he feels bad because let me tell you why. I am his WIFE not his MOTHER!!! I am an adult who is going to school all day and working all night but he doesn't think that matters because he works nights with me. He always makes it sound like what I do doesn't matter because I don't get the hours he does. I'm not his mom and I can't babysit him to make sure he does the adult things he needs to do... Like right now we don't have a tag because when I asked him to go get one early he refused to because the sticker was still good till January. I can't go get it myself because the car is in his name, because trust me if it was in mine I would have already gotten it. I need his help in school and it took me three days of begging him to check his email and reply to it so my teacher would shut up about our labs home and yada yada yada but even then he didn't fully read what I needed him to do and half assed it to the point where my teacher now thinks he's retarded and I can't explain a simple lab.