I posted this once before, but received no response from the general population... Maybe a group for Christians will be more responsive!

My partner and I have been sexually active for most of our relationship. We both enjoy it and have learned how to satisfy each other. We're enormously comfortable with each other and have learned to ask for what we want, and be open in giving it.

However, we are both Christians, and feel that sex is a gift that we would like to enjoy within our marriage. We are going to attempt abstinence.

We've done this before, and were successful for over 3 months. We've re-entered a period of sexual activity though, and today decided we'd try again to abstain.

This is so challenging for me! I am as invested as he is in doing this the way we feel is right, but it seems harder for me. Perhaps it's the age difference... I'm 25, he's 37. He's better at seeing the payoff for our relationship in the long-term, where I sometimes feel like this will be a phase that lasts forever.

When we're not regularly having sex, I sometimes feel as if our relationship is missing something, probably because I've trained myself to use sex as a way of connecting with him and feeling loved by him. I don't want to turn into "buddies" who lack sexual desire. We do plan to marry each other in the future, but that time has not yet come.

Okay, with that said, here are the actual questions. What are your suggestions for maintaining abstinence, particularly in a long-term relationship that has already been sexual?

But most importantly, how can we maintain physical intimacy without pushing our boundaries beyond self-control?

I feel as if I need sex in order to feel desired and loved. How can we express our desire without sex?

We've discussed this and researched it, but haven't found a workable solution yet.

I appreciate any help or encouragement!