Having a hard time giving it up.

Before giving birth my plan was to have an exclusively breast fed baby. After he was born he ended up losing about 18% of his body weight. It turns out he had a tongue tie and as a result, my supply suffered. Since then I supplement and pump.  I have tried everything! We got the tongue tie fixed, I've eaten everything that was supposed to increase supply, I've used supplements, I've drunk mothers milk tea, I've used prescription medications, I rented a hospital grade pump, I've pumped every two to three hours for the last SEVEN WEEKS, and I've been supplementing at the breast. I've dumped probably close to $800 trying to make this work and it is not working. I know fed is best but I can't shake 1. this feeling of guilt and failure and 2. the fact that I've sunk so much money into that I don't want to give up. I have no life because my life consists of feeding, pumping, washing pump parts, and repeating 24 hours a day. My baby is a great sleeper but I have to get up anyway all night to pump. On top of it all I feel like I bond better when I bottle feed him because he makes crazy eye contact with me when I do whereas on the breast he just closes his eyes. Everything is telling me that my baby just is not a breastfed baby but I'm having such a hard time giving it up due to the aforementioned reasons. Anyway I think I will continue until his two month shots and then give up but I keep going back and forth. Argh! I just get so upset when I see these women on here with these giant excess milk stashes when I can't even make enough to feed my baby. ☹️ Not really looking for advice as I know this is my own decision but I just wanted to vent. I have no idea what to do.