Are all mothers like this?

Question

Why my mother doesnt like my boyfriend? Im 31 years old and so he is, he is my first boyfriend. He is a divorced man with three little daughters.

At first she was happy and liked him and everything was nice. I met him on July last year and become boyfriend and girlfriend on October. He is a nice, respectful and resposible man. But later my mother start complaining about him, she tells me "you should find someone else with no kids, you deserve better and all these years being virgin, at least give it to someone with no kids" idk but seems that for her love is not important.

She gets angry whenever i mention something about him, she is all about drama, "oh my god he is your idol now? Im your mother you should care more about us your family, he is not going to replace the love we give you" ... 😑 idk why she says things like that, she see me happy. I really dont like the way she express now about me. I already talk to her about it but i think she dont care about what i feel.

What should i do? I sometimes want to go and live with him now 😅 (yes he asked me already)

Answer

Sounds like your mother is the reason you're a 31 year old virgin just now getting a bf. Live your own life girl.

Answer

Well, you have had 31 years with your mom.  So hopefully you've developed some kind of relationship that allows for you to communicate your feelings to her. Maybe ask your mom to go out with you, like a busy restaurant where you can say all things you want to, in a place that will kinda make ensure that you two can talk but not end up in a fight... I can see how, if you have spent your whole life saving your virginity for marriage that she may be concerned because your boyfriend has already been through a marriage and divorce. Whenever my kids are super passionate about something and than suddenly change their minds.... I usually open a discussion just to make sure everything is okay.....  maybe your mom needs your reassurance that your truly doing what you want, and that you are ready to be a mother figure to his kids and still possibly someday have your own.... if you start the discussion feeling empathy for your mom, you won't come off as defensive

Answer

She's used to having you to herself.  Mothers with single daughters can be like that.  My girlfriend is in her 40s and her mom gets pretty stressed out when she starts dating someone and trues to sabotage it. I think shes,afraid her daughter will replace her.

Answer

Your mom isn't used to you being in a relationship so she's looking for things wrong with your bf

Answer

I think alot of it has to do with the hardship of him having kids already. My mom was like that with my SO at first. Hes my first relationship and has a child. She had my brother and met my dad and she was my dads first relationship. Its difficult it wasnt something she wanted for me where as my dad understood what i was going through and was more supportive. She loves my SO and his daughter but she still tells me that my life would be alot less stressful if i was with someone who didnt already have a kid. Its like she wanted to protect me from the stress and difficultness of that life. She is also very opinionated when it comes to how we deal with things because its not how she would do it but we have a crazy bio mom and i mean like jerry springer crazy where my brother's dad was just an asshole so my situation is alot harder and she knows that and i think it hurts her to see that i get stressed out from it. I told her i choose this because i love him and his child and she needed to accept that and that made things a bit easier with her.

Answer

Since this is your first boyfriend and things sound pretty serious and you were still living at home it sounds like your mom is just scared of losing her baby so she is getting defensive and putting that on him. You can try talking to her about it or you can just consider moving out with him and then work on keeping your relationship with your mom strong

Answer

First boyfriend 😳😳

Are all mothers like this?

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