friends

In the past year a lot has happened some good but most bad. I started off 2016 freshly single and when I mean freshly I mean 12-31-15 at 11:58 we broke up. But thats a different story. So it was 2016 and I started fresh a few weeks later in January I got news my grandma wasn't doing so good. I held my hopes high that she would get better. The next day I was at work (I'm always working) I was on my break and just happened to hop onto Facebook. And the first thing I see is my uncle posting that my grandma passed away. That was the highlight of my year. I was devisated. She was my best friend. I love her with every part of my being. Well after that I went straight into a depression. My mood swings got worse. I kinda became a "bitch". I was living with a friend at the time. She saw me go down hill. I went down hill fast. Well after that we fought non stop. Finally finishing out a 10 month lease with nothing but fighting for 6 months straight. Well about 3 weeks before our lease ended we kinda got along and then all of a sudden my only 2 very best friends in the world turned their backs on me. Calling I'm,sure, dumb, stupid, annoying and a bitch. That's when it hit. I needed to change I still don't talk to those friends. 2016 was by far the worst year. Here we are 2 weeks into 2017 and I live with my cousin, and I literally have no friends. Making friends for me is hard. I have social anxiety. I am kinda immaure for my age but that's me. I don't think I've ever felt this lonely in my life. I know this story has no purpose but I needed to vent to someone and I have no one so I thought I would post this! I hope y'all have a good day and thanks for reading!