Pregnant 🤰🏻 or just sick with some bug 🤢

I think I'm in the middle of some sort of virus but my boyfriend insists that I'm pregnant. I woke up with horrible body aches, nausea, and a case of the Hershey squirts Saturday morning, I felt way better after I took DayQuil though. That night I asked my boyfriend to shower with me in case I got too weak and ended up having to get out early cause I felt like puking which I did, it was all bile since all I was able to get down that day was half a banana and some rice cakes. I felt better after and have been eating and my aches have pretty much gone away. But today about an hour ago I started to feel nauseous again and had to lay down. I still have total whisky shits too but constipated at the same time. I've also been EXTREMELY bloated lately, so bad in fact that my stomach bulges out like I'm pregnant. 
What does this sound like to you guys?
By the way AF is scheduled to come sometime next week. So that will definitely tell me whether I'm pregnant or actually just sick. 
I wish I could be excited about this but my boyfriend is wanting to finish 2 more years of his schooling before we start having kids since at this point I'm the only source of income between the two of us and it's not even a good one....I nanny for $15/hr. Granted I do have 12 thousand dollars in my account from saving up but we both live with our parents and don't have to pay rent. All we pay for our own food, cars, toiletries, insurance, and cellphone. 
Anyways sorry....I'm rambling....
Let me know your thoughts. 😬🙂
Thank you!!