just need to rant.

I've been sleeping on a couch for a week or two a cot for another. My hip hurts so much I can hardly stand it. I moved away from here because I was stuck, all alone and I felt like a fuck up and a burden. 2 years later, it's the same situation except now I'm pregnant, and the dad doesn't want anything to do with it. He said he changed his mind but said he was fine with us living in a whole other state, so he just wants to FaceTime us I guess. The people who were mad that I left and wanted me to come back and said they would be devasted if I didn't come back, don't even care that I'm here. They all have cars, I don't, so I'm the bad guy for not going to see them. I'm 30 weeks pregnant and I've been constantly filled with anxiety and alls I can do is just sit here but that makes me feel even more worthless. I just want to cry. I feel like it's just me as a person that brings this all on. Nobody really wants to be in my life except for my mom and my aunt. My brother hates me for getting pregnant. The dad blames me for being so stressed out I almost went into labor because IM the one who chooses to worry about this. I'm sorry but, nobody will hire me. I have no money. I'm 18. I have to depend on my family for everything. I'm a fucking mess. Everyone in the family thinks I'm a mess, there's even one going around convincing people of how big of a mess I am. I just need my baby to be here. I feel so worthless and pathetic, honestly. My anxiety won't stop. I can't sleep. I'm my worst self all over again.