I'm a fat slob and it's so hard to get pregnant

I've never been so upset in my life and I've went through some sh*t but nothing compares to ttc 😶 it's heartbreaking every month knowing I'm going to get a bfn just because I know I have pcos so it'll be hard to get pregnant. I stay positive only to get hurt. I know my husband hates the fact I can't give him a baby and it hurts. My mother was not a very good mother my whole life. Drug addiction abuse abandonment ect. So my dream is to be a mom and raise my kids with a good stable home with loving parents. Baby dust to all my lovely lady's and gentlemen ttc I'm still positive for now just a little vent to help 💕