does it get better

I hate to sound so dramatic, but does life truly get better. My boyfriend "emotionally" cheated on me, & for the last year he's been trying to make things right with me. There was a lot of laughter and smiles, but also a lot sadness. I was sneaking around not wanting my family and friends to know that I was still seeing him do to feeling ahshamed. Just today I told him I couldn't tdonit anymore. I constantly dreamt of him betraying me over and over again. I just don't get it. How can I enjoy being with him, talking to him but also be sad when I kiss him. It feels like it's finally over. Am I wrong.. did I not give him a fair chance. Together we have experienced some heart wrenching and traumatic things, it feels wrong to throw it all away, even though he was inconsiderate of me over a year ago. He's my best friend. I don't know what to do. I feel so alone & empty now. I have no one to talk to. My sister had been unsupportive (understandable) so I can't really talk to her. Feeling like my future is