The guy I was seeing has died and I need suppor

I haven't posted here in a while but I need some support. The guy that I was dating for a year and half died on Tuesday. I was on holiday in Ibiza when I found out on Thursday morning. The last time I spoke to him was on Monday night when I was drunk and outside a club. He said he would call me the next day after work but he didn't. I thought he had just forgotten, or was maybe ignoring me but that wasn't like him at all.. if he said he was going to call, he would call. I sent him some messages on whatsapp which his phone received but he never read... I woke up on Thursday morning with some missed calls from random numbers and a missed call from Sam's whatsapp. I called and his mum answered and told me that he'd gone. He hadn't turned up to work and his housemates found him in his room and the death is unexplained but not suspicious. His mum told me that he cared about  me and that she would let me know when they find out more... I got on the first flight home. I don't know what to do or what to say to anyone. I didn't ever meet or speak to his friends, although I know who they are and I know they know of me... I want to speak to them because even though everyone around me is supporting me, none of them really knew Sam and I feel out of the loop and alone... but I don't even know what I'd say to them. His mum told me a lot on the phone but I was in shock so didn't even absorb most of what she was saying. My parents are there for me but I think they're hurt because I never told them I was seeing anyone but I always wanted to keep it private until I was ready for them to meet each other. And the worst part is me and Sam were arguing because I wanted things to be more serious but he wasn't quite ready yet.. so I wanted some space to sort my feelings out (which he was very against) so I decided we shouldn't speak to each other until I'd come back from holiday (I was planned to stay for a month). I managed a week, but then on the Monday (my first day in Ibiza) I broke and called and said that I missed him and couldn't not speak to him. He said he almost messaged me a few days earlier and started saying that the reason he wasn't ready to be more serious just yet is because he was scared he would be like his Dad (who he's been telling his mother to leave since he was 10) and in his last relationship he became an awful person. He said he missed me to and he would call me on the Tuesday, which he never did and now I know why. I just don't know what to do or what to say to anyone and because I'm not in his friendship group I feel left out and whilst his mother knows of me and apparently he used to speak about me a lot to her, we had never met. I want to be more involved in every thing single that's happening as he meant so much to me but I don't know if that is something I can do.