Said goodbye to my sweet kitty cat.

I have had him since he was 7 weeks old. He just turned a year. I found him in our backyard after hearing him moan in pain. I scooped him up and ran over to my moms house, she conveniently lives across the street. She's a nurse and it was my first instinct to go to her. I was already on the verge of tears because I knew something was wrong with him. My mom thought he was choking because he was having trouble breathing so we checked down his throat but there was nothing. He was groaning quietly every time he breathed and my mom said "I think he has a collapsed lung." we assumed he had been hit by a car and had internal injuries. I just stared at her, it was 5 o clock. All of the vets were closed. She said it was my call, but she then said "I think he's dying, Morg. You better hold him." I was bawling at this point, but I held him close and he just continued to wail in pain. The worst sound I've ever heard. Eventually I took him back to my house, held him and called my boyfriend to tell him he needs to come home. He was home extremely quickly and we began calling vets, none of which were available to help him. The best we could get was at 8 am the next morning, over 12 hours later. After another 2 hours of him scream meowing in pain, he crawled over to beside the door and my boyfriend said he was having a seizure. I ran over to him and picked him just as his body went limp, and I bawled even more. I just felt the life leave this sweet cat that was still so young after suffering in agony for almost 5 hours. I have never felt so helpless and guilty in my entire life. So here I am, crying while sitting at the windowsill in our kitchen where he used to sit daily because it was a large window and he loved watching outside. I so miss him. I just want to open the door and watch his cute little self run through the door. I would love for this to just be an awful nightmare. Goodbye, my sweet little Simon