Help! I've gotten myself into a really bad spot and now I'm not sure what to do.

NO BASHING, JUDEMENT.. just looking for advice from others in similar situations.

My son (8 months old now) has co slept with my husband and I since we brought him home from the hospital. It just worked out to be easiest for us and something that I came to love. We've had our challenges, but my son and I found our grove where as long as I don't wait till he is over tired (and in the mood to kick the living crud out of me), we both sleep better this way. Or at least used to. He has been waking up more lately at night and I'm not sure what the change is - no teeth, eats some solids during the day. But that's not what I'm concerned about.

My son never took a pacifier when he was born. We struggled with nursing at first because of my flat nipples and he couldn't latch. After 4-5 days of using the nipple shield, he started nursing like a champ! However, at night (especially in the first few weeks of exhaustion) I would fall doze off when he nursed and he would stay latched for an hour plus. I became his pacifier... I never really stopped him from this behavior, didn't really encourage it either. I let him comfort nurse when he wanted and continued to feed him on demand.

Now, 8 months later, we are still breastfeeding and I'm fine with that, but I would like to get him to go down for a nap or to bed without the need to nurse. He will fall asleep in the car after fussing a little if he is tired, but that is the only other way I've seen him fall asleep. I don't know what to do. I've tried putting him in his crib and letting him cry it out a little, but after only a few minutes he takes it to a very high scream and I fold and pull him out. At night when he wakes up and wants to nurse back to sleep, I've tried moving away from him and letting him fall back asleep on his own, but he sits up and starts to cry.

What should I do? My husband is ready for him to be in his own bed. I don't mind the co-sleeping or the nursing, but I want him to be able to self sooth and put him self back to sleep or to sleep in general.

Any help or advice is appreciated.