one year today since my life changed
its been exactly one year to the minute since the police came to my home and dragged my abusive ex of 6yrs out the door fighting after he spent 10+ hours in the pub, beat me, threw knives at me, hurt one of my dogs (which I class as my babies), choked me till I passed out, attempted to have sex without consent and threatened to kill my mom if I asked for help. he's been in court 6 times this year for breach of bail and a restraining order, he still stands at the end of my street regularly watching my house and goes past my father's 3+ times a week (my father doesn't know what he did). I feel like a prisoner in my own home, I'm terrified he's going to get pissed and break in again, I know I deserve better but I thought I would of found someone else by now, I just wanna find a decent man and have my dreams of the family I want. the longer time goes on the louder his voice in my head gets that I'm never gonna have anyone else, no one would want me, I don't deserve better than him, and I feel like he's right. I've been miserable all day and the only people I have in my life are my mom and furkids, I can't talk to them about it because it just upsets them and I don't want that, I feel completely alone right now, has anyone else felt like this? sorry I just needed somewhere to talk and tell someone how I feel, thanks for reading.
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