Making love
My first time wasn't special. I started to sleep with a guy that I was seeing and everytime we did it I was in pain and felt like an empty vessel. Sometimes I wish I could turn back time and waited until the time was actually right and told him I was a virgin before we had sex. I was afraid he would've left me like several guys had when I told them about me being a virgin. I was a virgin till I was 21 btw. So I just listened to my friends and said nothing went over to his place one night and yeah. It was painful and I thought the feeling of emptiness was normal. I felt it everytime I has sex afterwards.
I felt empty after having sex until I felt fulfilled.....:/ The messed up part was that I felt fulfilled with a man that was married. (I didn't know he was married at first.) Then for some reason I didn't care but moved on after a while because I felt empty after again I found out. I guess that's my body telling me it wasn't right. It wasn't until my recent relationship, which I'm still in now, that I actually made love and it's the best feeling I could ever had. At first, it felt empty of course but after a while when I started to love my man it was like not empty! He makes me feel great. I actually smile and I feel joy just to know I am not just a booty call, or a sextoy. I wouldn't trade this for the world. In a way, I am glad I went through the stage of emptiness because I wouldn't be able to appreciate this as much.
That's why I prefer making love over having sex!
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