He got a job. Nothing changed.

It didn't solve the issues we were having. Just made them worse. He always used to ignore me and never be around when I needed him the most. He still ignores me whenever I get sick or tired. He constantly yells at us and never apologizes for anything. 

His idea of an apology is "Im sorry, but (it's all someone else's fault)" 

He never talks to me. To the point where today I was stuck on the toilet unable to change a pad and asked him to grab me one. He did not respond. I was shouting and begging him to grab one for more than 10 minutes (scar tissue on my cervix makes it really hard to sit on the toilet for more than 2-3 mins and there's no way to know if my cancer is back). I finally asked my little one to just bring my purse and THEN I hear him yell "I was already getting it!" 

Except he was in there the whole time, standing there in silence listening to me scream and beg until I found another way to get it and he had someone else to torment (because now he can shit on the baby wanting to help me) 

And the worst thing is he's really nice most of the time. But it's like 3-8 days out of every month I get Mr Hyde. Right now I hate him and I don't think our relationship will ever be fixed. I've decided to just get used to being alone since that's what I am with him anyway. 

And that would be fine if he didn't live here, but the stupid jerk does. So I don't even have the conveniences of being a single mom like him NOT being here when my kids are on their own. 

The whole house breathes a collective sigh of relief when he walks out the door and the other day my son commented that the house seems so loud when he's here, its like the only time we can hear ourselves is when he's gone. He said it's like living in a really small suffocating tank with a very large pufferfish. I agree. That's exactly what it's like. Sometimes the fish is a normal size but others you can't get a breath at all.