Regarding the trolling last week

Some of you may remember the big trolling incident we had just a bit over a week ago, where we discovered that the troll and the user they were attacking were both coming from the same source. Of course, we can never know who is truly behind the screen at any given time, just where something is coming from. 

I have a little update on that situation. We received an apology we were asked to share here. In light of it, we've decided to unban Hex's account with the understanding that it will never happen again.

I've posted the apology below:

"Last week I made posts about someone in the community named Hex. I didn't intend to hurt them or anyone else I was just trying to get something done about how they had been feeling and I didn't think they would actually see the posts. Hex and I live together and they have talked to me a lot about their experiences here and how they didn't always feel supported or like people cared about them especially because of things related to their gender and sexuality.

I try to be understanding as I can about everything but sometimes my anger isn't always used the right way or directed in the right direction and it ends up doing more harm than good. Hex said they were dealing with harassment and felt that nothing was being done about it this really bothered me to see them going through this without anything being done. I told them they should delete the app and even though they did it still ended up giving them a lot of anxiety. My wife is emotional about a lot of things for a lot of understandable reasons but it always hurts me when they are hurt by things and I felt like there was nothing I could do.

 I didn't know they'd see the posts I made but I didn't make them because I actually feel that way about them. I made them because I was hoping that something would get done about it and that it would help.

 I have a program downloaded called nox witch is mostly used for playing games but basically you can download android apps on your laptop and play them the way you would on a phone. I downloaded eve this way and created a fake email and account because I wanted to try and do something. It didn't really go as plan and I had forgotten that they are friends with a lot of people outside of the app so their friends ended up telling them about my posts and everything that was going on. At that point I realized that it was a huge mistake and that I was in to deep and that it was a mistake for me to have done. I should have just deleted the posts and the account and moved on after that but I made the second post only because after hex looked because their friends told them they seemed to feel better because of how people were supporting them. 

 It sucked but it helped them see that people really did care and a lot of people came to help them. I didn't stop to think that it would be traced back to our IP since we live in the same house so when it all ended and my fake account was placed on hold I thought that it would end there. When hex re-downloaded the app it felt like a win for me in a weird way like that they felt like they could come back because of the support and it felt good. 

I thought at that point it was over. It wasn't but I never wanted it to come back on hex. I love them so much and I would never intentionally do that to them so when it all blew up and it came out that it was the same IP so logically the same person I felt bad and realized how big of a mistake it was.

 It really hurt them a lot especially seeing how people felt like they were deceived and didn't trust Hex. They didn't understand why it was linked back to them and felt like they were being set up and felt like it was another way to not treat seriously the things they experienced. It made them question themselves and everything and made them feel betrayed.

 I should have just told them the truth but I was scared they'd be more upset. I should have never made the posts to begin with because it hurt your community just as much as it hurt hex and while I am truly sorry to the community for that I'm more sorry to my wife and how it made them doubt themselves and feel turned on by people they enjoy being around and talking to.

It wasn't fair and even though I never wanted them to be hurt I didn't consider any of the potential backlash. I was too caught up in how I was feeling but that's no excuse for what I did and the damage it did. Hex has had a really hard year and I know that better than anyone so I should have thought before I acted in a way that could potentially hurt them even more but I didn't. They never deserved this and it caused a huge amount of pain for them that I am truly sorry for and regret deeply. It was something I did without thinking and because I was angry. For obvious reasons this led to a lot more trouble than it was worth for the admins and the community as well as hex who was completely confused and feeling set up when it came back on them. I am sorry for all this caused. I know it hurt a lot of people and made a lot of people feel like they were used that is completely on me and not something I wanted. I didn't know it would be as big as it was.

To the Glow community: I'm sorry that this all led to you to believe someone you talked to and supported in the community was using you. I know everyone felt like they couldn't trust hex after that and like they were lied to and if not by hex then by admins which was not the case for either. I'm sorry that you felt hex was behind it and was doing something shady and trust breaking. They really were not and we have talked a lot to reconcile with in our relationship because I know this hurt them a lot and I also know it also hurt a lot of you to. I'm sorry I used something serious like harassment to try and make a point it wasn't appropriate and looking back on it used your reactions unfairly and I should have never done it. It also made the real experiences hex had seem less serious and that was the opposite of what I wanted.

What I wanted to happen doesn't matter because it still tore apart a community for no real reason in the end and just hurt people. I hope everyone can understand that it wasn't hex and that they're not responsible but also that this wasn't okay regardless and it hurt all of you in ways that just shouldn't have happened.

None of you should have been placed in a position where you are divided like you were and where you felt like coming to the defense of someone was under false pretenses it was not okay that I did that.

To the admins: I'm sorry that this put a lot of pressure on you to respond to something that was fabricated and that in the process made people believe that you the admins were deceptive as well and that caused such a huge uproar. You were just doing your job and investigating appropriately and the obvious reaction was that it was hex since we share an IP. You did nothing wrong you just responded how you felt you needed to because of how big it got. I'm sorry that it put you in an unfair position as well. 

To hex: I know we've already talked a lot and you probably won't see this but I'm sorry to you too. I never wanted you to doubt yourself or feel like people were against you but that's what happened and all I can see is how much hurt it caused you and is still causing you in many ways. I put you in a position that was not okay at all. You work hard to be as transparent and communicating with me as you can and I should have given you the same effort and not gone behind your back. I promise going forward I will never go behind your back like this again. I know we've already talked and I've said the same thing but I'm putting it here to because it's worth saying again. I love you and I'm going to do everything I can to make this right. I'm also sorry for using the issues you face to try and make a point I should have known how that's hurtful and being transphobic and harassing and misgendering you on purpose just to try and get something done is extremely counterproductive. It doesn't do any good. I don't feel that way towards you but I know that after doing this there's work I need to do on myself for ever thinking it was okay. The things you experience are valid and all I did was invalidate them and it wasn't okay in any way. I'm truly sorry and I promise I don't hold any of those views I was just trying to imitate the things you told me about to try and get something done it was still not okay and I should have considered how that could be triggering and damaging."