ok... so my weights fluctuated most of my adulthood. i was really underweight and active in highschool amd when I turned 21 I put on some weight and got pregnant. Up until 2015, i had not been over 250...

october of 2015 I jumped from 230 to 285 out of nowhere. thought it had been my increase in latuda from 40mg to 80mg, so got psych to lower me to 20mg. was very active, walking 4+ miles a day and on my feet and moving 8 hours at a restaurant kitchen job...

went from 285 to 320... out of nowhere...

i had mentioned this to a few drs, i got a lot of 'its normal for women to gain weight and be unable to lose it' and have you tried exercising more and reducing your caloric intake'. im no stranger to calorie counting, it drives me into a manic anorexic stage where I try so hard to not eat over 1200 calories and then end up binge eating everything in sight 3 days later... however, in a normal day, even if Ibhave fastfood for a meal, i dont get over 1900 calories...

so, november 2016... i start getting really sick... i'm vomitting up everytjing I'm eating and drinking and having boughts of diahrea just about 10 times a day... my doctor.told me acute illness is great.for weightloss when the scale read I had lost 10lbs in 5 days...

this went on for 3 months (the diahrea and vomitting) and i went from 285 up to 350... I couldnt understand how I was still gaining weight, and yet couldnt keep anything in my body...

so, she sent me to a gastroenterologist. they did a colonoscopy, liver ultrasound and HIIDA gallblader test, along with raking 4 quarts of blood for tests.

colonscopy came back normal, as did gallbladder.

liver came back fatty. blood work showed critical liver panels and a tsh of over 5 (They had done t3 and t4 but i cant remember those).

gastro suggested i had hypothyroidism and suggested weight loss to fix the liver.

pcp put me on 50mcg of levothyroxine, no explanation on it, and sent me away. i was on/off 50mcg til july (due to loss of insurance). started taking 100mcg mid July 2017. blood work showed tsh of 0.26 in september i think. doc said that was fine... i had dropped some weight again, down to 315.. early august 2017 i was weighed for a workmans comp accident and was 312 by hospital digital scale...

i have beenn trying to be active with the cold and snow... but i suffer severe lower back/hip/tailbone pain to the extent my shin/calves and feet will go numb... assume its from the amount of weight and having osteoarthritis in hips/pelvis/knees/hands

im so tired all the time, my depression is out of control and my hands and feet swell up so bad some times my shoes won't fit... i have a size 12 wedding ring and that doesn't fit... i can't get it resized. i went from a size 8 to bigger than a 12... my skin is dry all the time... I'm constantly getting blood sugar crashes that end up in me throwing up...

and tonight i weighed my self on a home analog scale that told me i was 335-337.... so from august 8th to now, roughly 4 months, i gained 25lbs???

i have so much bloat and weight in both upper and lower stomach i look pregnant and have a very hard time getting comfortable laying on my stomach (which is the only way i can get to sleep.. hard to explain but the fat on my shoulders and neck makes me feel like I'm being strangled if i layon my sides and i stop breathing if i lay on my back)...

but all of my weight looks to be legitmately only in my torso.. my hips and thighs have slimmed down noticably, my face seems thinner and other than the balls of armfat right by my arm pits and the fat where my collarbones are that chokes me in my sleep, there's nothing on my arms... i have a double chin, but the vast majority is in my stomach and lower back.

i have had 1 kid by c-section. so the muscles in my stomach are shot... i have a low hanging penna (if thats the word) that ends right where my lady downstairs starts... but even pregnant my upper abdomen didnt stick out this far...

has anyone else been diagnosed hypothyroid and put on levothyroxin/synthroid and had this issue with major weight gain and still feeling very hypo???

im just having such a hard time

accepting this weight gain. im depressed by how i look, i cant keep buying clothes... my husband and i want to TTC, but i am so not into it because.of how big I am... i just dont feel sexy and it honestly just kind if hurts to do anytjing like that. its even harder on me because I was so active before 2015... and now i cant even walk longer than 5-10 min beforr my back has me almost crying....

my docs telling me my ideal weight at 6'0 is 150-160 and thats what I should be aiming towards... like, thats unrealistic to think I should be aiming to lose more than half my weight when we cant even figure out why I'm still gaining weight+