Coming to Terms

I'll admit it. I shouldn't have gotten married, well WE shouldn't have. We're not compatable and our lives are miserable. We only knew each other a year before we got engaged and 2 months in I got pregnant. It was planned, a little surprised it happened so fast as we were given a "hopefully in 6 months" prognosis, but now we have our child. I'm miserable, I make my husband miserable, and he makes me miserable. I've picked back up smoking and my depression has come back along with anxiety, and I'm terrified about possibly schizophrenia. We fight daily and I can remember the last true happiness was the day our baby was born. I felt so loved, needed, like our life was perfect. We both did. But now? Now, it's daily fights and poor communication from stubborn headedness and lack of will. But I can't get divorced, not with only being 9 months in. My parents spent almost 20k on our wedding and I can't admit that my mother was right. God I hate her for it. We were too young, we weren't ready,and she was right. And now I post anon in a group just to get it off my chest because I can't even tell my family, or one best friend, in shame.